New Caledonia Area
By Jim Vardy
Bingo and "Another World" my wife always avoids,
But I'm stuck with something just as bad, since she got in the Guides.
From September until June, it's meetings all the time;
She then starts getting ready, 'cause Camp is next in line.
The Guides have lots of meetings to pass away a night,
And just to pass away a day, they all go on a hike.
Then when there are no camps or hikes or meetings to attend,
The unit will get together for a sleep-in.
Sometimes I'll say unto my wife, "let's go out for awhile."
I know exactly what she'll say when I see that greasy smile---
"Sorry but I've got to go to Austin's or to Lloyd's,
'Cause me and Blanche and Helen got a meeting for the Guides."
Then when they have a meeting and supper time comes around,
God knows what you'll get to eat---you may not get it down.
It's cooked in such a hurry, it just doesn't turn out right;
She's always got the same excuse---"there's a Guide meeting tonight."
In June she rolls out her sleeping bag, and then she packs her kit;
She picks up little crafts she's got for the camping trip.
She says, "'twill soon be over now, 'cause camping is the end";
But I know that come September, it will all start up again.
Sometimes I grumble with her, and say: "It's gone too far,
Half the time you're not at home and I don't know where you are."
She just says "I'm going to go and come when I decide---
You can grumble all you like; I gotta go to Guides."
She goes to all the things they have no matter what I say;
I guess that she'll be in the Guiodes until her dying day.
Now if she goes before me and I am left to mourn,
I'll send her like she's used to going---
IN HER GIRL GUIDE UNIFORM!